How to handle interpersonal problems
The personal journey from being unemployed to getting hired needs to have two main foci:
1) Awareness of one’s skills, characteristics and targets and
2) knowledge of and coping strategies for one’s emotional and practical obstacles.
The goal of Life Management Skills is to sharpen the participants’ self-awareness so that they
1) become attentive of what they wish their work life to consist of,
2) are aware of what they have to offer to employers and colleagues and
3) are able to cope with the challenges, that life in general and life in unemployment specifically expose them to.
When the self-esteem is low it is easier to end up in conflicts with other people. Mentally it can be difficult to be constructive when met with misunderstandings or aggression. The goal of this element is to understand the nature of conflicts, how to avoid them and how to handle them, when they occur.
After this process the participants will be able to answer the following three questions:
1) What are my own triggers of conflict?
2) How do I calm myself when I feel agitated?
3) How do I recognize other people’s reactions to challenges?
7 Ground Rules for Dealing with Interpersonal Conflict at Work
1. Acknowledge the Conflict
The first step in solving any problem is acknowledging that there is a problem. The longer you bury your head in the sand and pretend there isn’t conflict, the worse it will become.
2. Open up the Lines of Communication
Think of this as being the one to offer the olive branch. Once you’ve acknowledged that there is a conflict, be the one to open up the lines of communication.
3. Focus on the Problem, Not the Other Person
Try your best not to take things personally when addressing these conflicts. It’s so easy to go down the path of thinking someone is doing something to you when in reality, that is rarely true.
Keep your focus on the problem and not on the other person or people.
4. Stick to the Facts
This is similar to focusing on the problem and not the person, but takes it a step deeper. When looking at why a certain conflict is happening, do your best to stick to the facts. It may very well involved another person but look at underlying reasons.
5. Meet Face to Face
It’s difficult to truly address a conflict virtually. An email here and there doesn’t really seem to get to the heart of the matter most of the time. Nor is it very beneficial having a 10-minute meeting in someone’s office when the phone is always ringing and their eyes keep skipping back to the non-stop flood of incoming emails.
6. Pick Your Battles
It’s very easy to pick at just about every little thing, especially if you aren’t the one doing it. In general, we all tend to think there’s a right way of doing things, usually our own. There’s always a wrong way of doing things, the way other people do the same thing. The point is there’s only so much we can do.
7. Make a Decision and Act on It
Finally, once you’ve addressed the conflict with the other party or parties, it’s time to seal the deal. When you’ve come to a decision about how to handle a conflict, make an action plan. And most importantly, do it.
Once you’ve read the text on the topic, it’s time to test your knowledge.
Solve the following practice exercises!